Indian moms and maternity myths

It’s been a month since we had a little girl, and my wife and I are not only taking care of the baby, but actively fighting maternity myths. The one that made me particularly furious involves fish bones. The elders have a long list of items that a new mother shouldn’t eat or do, and while some of them make sense, some are ridiculous. For example, when we asked the elders what proteins to give my wife, our cook said mutton. I asked, “What about fish?” She replied, “You can give fish, but you shouldn’t give fish with too many bones, as the bone will enter the bloodstream, block the milk ducts in the breast, and even may enter the baby’s throat while feeding.”

I was like, “What the f***?” It’s not like the chewed food is directly pumped into the bloodstream. The stomach just absorbs the nutrients from the food and passes the rest to the intestines. There is no way a fish bone can block a milk duct. I wanted to give a lecture on how the digestive system works, but I walked away, knowing it wouldn’t have any effect.

Similarly, the elders say you shouldn’t give coconut-based curries to a new mother, as it will be difficult for her to digest. But, they’ll encourage giving mutton, claiming it is good for health. Isn’t mutton harder to digest than coconut? When it comes to advice, the logic goes out the window.

As a new parent, it is frustrating to see people ignoring science in the name of experience. My mom, for example, doesn’t trust the words of a pediatrician, and instead blindly trusts the words of someone elder than her (just because they’re elder). A pediatrician would’ve treated a thousand babies, and the elder “kelavi” would’ve seen five to ten babies in her lifetime. Parenting in India is harder than in Western countries, as a big portion of parents’ energy is spent on fighting maternity myths.