Find a way to process your emotions

Whenever there’s an argument and I raise my voice, my mom would immediately say “There are people around us, living in other flats, Karthik. What would they think?” It was a cue for me to lower my voice and suppress my anger. Only in those moments, I often think, “What would they think? They would think I’m angry. What else would they think?” But, to be honest, why should I regulate my emotion wondering what my neighbor would think of me? Why should I care?

As humans, we have basic rights for everything (at least on paper). But, we never really get to exercise our right to express our emotions without being aware of our surroundings.

When you laugh, nobody comes your way and says, “don’t laugh too much, there are people around you.” When you get all teary-eyed during a happy moment, nobody asks you to stop. Instead, they (the media and YouTube videos) refer to the moment as “heartwarming”.

But, when you express negative emotions like fear, anger, or disgust, the emotion police comes into the picture. Some random person, even a passerby, will come and advise you to control your emotion. And, the worst part is, we take their advice. We push those emotions deep within ourselves and move on. From my experience, I know that keeping those emotions locked inside us is harmful. All that pent-up anger and fear causes serious damage to your mind and body if left untreated.

So, find a way to process that anger or fear. I’m not saying hit somebody and unleash your anger in the form of road rage. Instead, try to process that anger in some other form. I write in my journal before I go to bed, I blow up buildings and trucks in a video game, lift weights at the gym (when I go to the gym), head bang to fast beat Tamil songs, and so on. It helps me. I’m not suggesting you follow the same. Find your thing. It’s a bit of a trial and error. But, it helps.