Every Good Deed Has an Expiration Date

Why do we tolerate some people even though we hate them?

There are usually three reasons: out of love, out of respect, or we’re indebted for something good they’ve done to us in the past.

Whatever be the reason, our tolerance comes with an expiry date.

We can tolerate only until a point. How far away is the point has to do with the type of relationship or the amount/magnitude of good they’ve done to you.

There is no universal standard here. It varies from person to person.

And when people reach that threshold, relationships break apart. Couples get divorced, siblings stop speaking to each other, friends end up in a fist fight - I can go on.

I think at a subconscious level, we all see a good deed as a transaction. It tells them that it is okay to overstep boundaries. And then they get push back, the immediate thought they’d get it “They’re being so thankless. I’ve done so much for them.”

But in that moment, nobody realises what they’ve done and the fact the other person has tolerated them so far.

I’ve been on both sides. I was able to feel it when I was at the receiving end. But I never realised it when I was at the other end. By the time I realised, I’ve lost some good friends.

So, if you’re doing a good deed to someone, be conscious about taking them for granted.